Sunday, October 17, 2010

How Big Are Ya?

“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity” So says the Preacher in the book of Ecclesiastes. Everything we do is pointless. Not exactly the most uplifting and positive message. Yet that seems to be the main point through much of this little book. No wonder most people know nothing about it except for the song “Turn, Turn, Turn”(60’s tune by The Birds if anyone under 25 is reading this).


Unexpectedly, however, this message seems to resonate with me at this point in my spiritual journey. Not in a practical immediate way. I’m not feeling life has no meaning or that there’s no point in trying. It’s much deeper. God has really been speaking to my heart about time and space, and the incredibly insignificant amount of either that my existence seems to take up. Still, God speaks through His word of my significance and importance so the question becomes, “Why is what I do in my life important and what is the most important thing I am supposed to do?”

Before I try answering that (No, I’m not sure I have the answer yet) I want to expound a bit on what it means to really understand our place in this world. Let’s begin with me. Currently I take up approximately 215lbs. of mass in the physical universe taking up approximately 6.75 cubic feet of space Based upon current averages, I can expect to live approximately 75-80 years (minus whatever the diabetes might subtract and plus the relatively good health I have experienced otherwise). We will round to 80 for mathematical simplicity.

As we look at this it is very important to understand how exponents work and how they can deceive the true scope and size of something. You see we use exponents every day without even realizing it. Everyone knows place value. We know Ten is 10 times bigger than one, and that One Hundred is 10 times bigger than Ten and that One Thousand is 10 times bigger than One Hundred. The deceptive part is that we don’t use a new term for place value until One Million, which is actually 1000 times bigger than One Thousand. The same goes for One Billion, which is 1000 times bigger than One Million, or 1000 x 1000 times bigger than One thousand. We completely lose scope and understanding of what these numbers mean, but let’s try. The earth has over 6.5 billion people currently living on the planet or 6.5 x 109 . Let’s say we are discussing a disease that kills 1 in 1000 every year or 1.0 x 10-3 or .001 of the population. The result of applying these numbers would be that 6.5 x 106 people or 650,000 people die from the disease every year which obviously sounds much more ominous than 1 in 1000.

Now back to me and my 6 feet of linear existence. The circumference of the earth is 24,901.55 miles or 2.5 x 104. I am .0002 miles tall or 2.0 x10-3. This makes me 1.25 x 107 times shorter than the earth. It would take 1,250,000 clones of me lying head to foot to circle the globe at the equator. But wait, there’s more. The diameter of our solar system is 5.54 x 109 miles which means it would take 2.8 x 1012 of me. I am almost 3 trillion times smaller than our solar system. But wait, there’s more. Once we leave the solar system, distance becomes so great that it is measured in light years, the distance light can travel in 365 days. The speed of light is approximately 186,000 miles per second so the length of one light year is 5.9 x 1012 miles or over 1000 times the diameter of our solar system. The next reference point most of us are familiar with is our galaxy the Milky Way. The Milky Way is approximately 100,000 light years or 5.9 x 1017 miles, which means I am 2.9 x 1020 times smaller than our galaxy, or about 3 million trillion times smaller. Okay, let’s go one step further. The best estimates of astronomy scientists is that the physical universe is at least 2.7 x 109 light years or 1.6 x1025 miles in diameter making me 8 x 1026 times smaller than the universe. Or I am 800 trillion trillion times smaller than the universe that an Awesome and Holy God has created and holds together.

So tell me again. Why am I significant?

To be continued….

Friday, July 9, 2010

Eulogy to My Pancreas

I am here today to say goodbye to a faithful member of my body. Although he is not being removed, and I assume that the tissue is still alive, I must acknowledge that my pancreas has finally given up the ghost. He was a good pancreas and worked very hard for the 20+ years I have been diagnosed with Type II diabetes trying to produce enough insulin for the rest of my body which for some medical reason doesn't play well with insulin. Unfortunately, if he were here today, he probably wouldnt have very kind words to say to me, and I would deserve every criticism.

At the age of 25, living a very sedentary life, and eating things I shouldnt, and drinking Dr. Pepper like water, my weight ballooned to 260 lbs. Then suddenly it began to drop. Along with that was intense thirst and peeing like a race horse. I would sometimes drink a gallon of water through the night. This combined with a later reduced appetite due to personal issues led to me at one point only having 175 lbs on my 6'3" frame.

Since that time, it has been an ongoing, up and down journey, trying to keep my blood sugar under control. When I say up and down, I am referring to the different medications I have been taking. At no time did I ever get serious about monitoring my blood sugar or changing my diet.

That all changed last Wednesday. Kate and I met with a dietitian and a nurse for education on nutrition and use of my insulin injection pen. As my wife shared in her blog, it was a sobering experience. The dietitian went first and spent about an hour telling me not only what I should and should not eat, but how much. It was probably the most depressing part. Nobody wants to hear you can eat all the spinach you want if you are still hungry. It was also a little bit embarrassing when we had to talk about our large Freddy's frozen custards we had the night before.

The second hour was spent with the nurse who trained on use of the novalog pen and monitoring blood sugar levels. She began by asking a lot of lifestyle questions as well as medical information. And then she asked why I was there. What was my motivation for wanting to control my blood sugar and insulin. It caught both Kate and I off guard. We both knew the answer, but it wouldnt come out. The emotions were overwhelming. So we both sat there in silence for a good minute with the tears streaming. Finally the words came out. "There are three little girls we want to adopt, and I want to be around long enough to see them grow up."

And there it was. Suddenly I was so angry with myself. Why had I let it go on this long? Why had the slow build up of symptoms not been enough to make me get serious years ago. I didn't really have an answer. I still don't. But the why doesnt really matter. Why questions deal with the past. Now is time to work for the future.

And so Kate and I are on a new journey towards, diet, exercise, and careful monitoring of my blood sugar levels. Its only been 10 days, and I am sure there will be a lot of struggles with being disciplined. But we are committed to doing what it takes.

Diabetes is like the frog in the water boiled alive because the temperature is only raised slowly. I never felt bad from diabetes, at least not enough to say I noticed. So now, I am looking much closer at the rest of my life to see what else has crept in and may be poisoning me, not just physically, but spiritually as well.

So to my pancreas, thank you for your service, and I'm sorry for how I treated you.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Social Contract Theory, Part II

As I hope I established in Part I, the short definition of Social Contract Theory is that anytime two or more people agree to live in contact with each other, they also agree to give up some of their rights, or to respect the rights of the others they live with. These rights and limiting of rights are negotiated based on the belief that it is good or better for people to live together than alone in the long run. As a Christian, I believe God's design supports this basic principle. Again the opening pages of scripture make this clear when after several statements of "God saw that it was good...", we see "God saw that it was not good that man was alone."

God's original plan, of course, was that a sinless created human race designed for social living would naturally live out the goals of the Social Contract. When people are at their most holy, they are also at their most selfless. His intention was that we would always put others before ourselves. This is the definition of Agape love, the word Jesus used when He asked Peter, "Do you love Me?"

Sin, unfortunately is the exact opposite of selflessness. And so the Social Contract, just like every other aspect of life on earth became corrupted because of man's fallen nature. Instead of being based on trust and focusing on the good of others, it is used as a means of protecting one's own life, liberty, and property(the original intent of the Declaration of Independence before it was changed to "the pursuit of happiness") The focus is completely on self. Now before anyone jumps to any conclusions, I am not going to start bashing our founding fathers or documents. To the contrary, I hope to make a solid argument in support of those ideals. But it is important to understand that from a Christian perspective, Social Contract Theoryshould be viewed as a necessary evil to protect humanity from its worst behaviors. For the Social Contract is the foundation for that other necessary evil, Government.

I will continue with my next post on how Social Contract Theory informs the formation of governments and the rule of law, but for now I want to leave with an illustration I once heard that best describes the separation or difference between those with a right relationship with Jesus, and those without:

A man had a dream that his soul went to visit Hell and Heaven. When he arrived in Hell, he saw the masses of the damned all sitting at huge banquet tables filled with food. Unfortunately no one had elbows, so they could not bend their arms to feed themselves and were condemned to starvation while sitting before a bountiful spread. The man was then transported to Heaven where much to his suprise, he saw the multitude of saints in exactly the same situation as those in Hell. The difference? The saints were rejoicing and filling themselves to contentment as they reached across the tables and fed each other.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Since I've been gone...

Been a busy few weeks since my last post. Kate was in China for two weeks, then home for two weeks, then I left for the East Coast for 8 days. During that time, my wife started her own blog and is much more prolific in her writing. I've got some catching up to do. In the mean time, I would like to echo her thoughts that we are very excited about our new journey towards the prospect of adoption. Please keep us and the boys in your prayers as we go through this process. I will try to finish my discussion on Social Contract Theory tonight.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Social Contract Theory, Part I

The United States today is experiencing a period of political divide that has not been seen since the Civil War. Labels used to describe one particular group’s ideology have multiplied and morphed almost exponentially during the last thirty years. We hear terms like liberal, conservative, progressive, moderate, neoconservative, socialist, Marxist, communist, libertarian, radical, capitalist, anarchist and dictator. Each day it seems the public voice tries to define or redefine these terms to the aid or the detriment of the group they wish to help or harm.


The analogy to the Civil War may seem exaggerated, but from my vantage point, it is only the lack of clear geographical boundaries between the opposing sides (and perhaps also that there are more than just two sides to choose from) along with a powerful federal government that prevents armed conflict. One of my favorite quotes from Ken Burns “The Civil War” comes from the late Shelby Foote who states early on that “the reason for the Civil War was America’s failure to do what it did best, compromise”. The statement is accurate, but it implies that with the issue of slavery, somewhere there was a compromise. There wasn’t. Lincoln understood that. The slaveholders of the south understood that. Most importantly, the slaves understood that.

This brings us back to the political battles being waged today. The question remains the same. Are the issues at stake ones that can be resolved through compromise? Or are moral imperatives involved in which there can be no compromise? I have my opinions, but those are for a later post.

In my Intro to Western Civilization course taken so many years ago, I was introduced to some guys who lived a few hundred years ago and were much smarter than me. Their names were Hobbes, Locke and Rousseau. Between them they developed a theory that explains how people live together. It is called the “Social Contract” theory. In simplest terms, as long as you live like a hermit all by yourself and your actions have no impact on anyone else, you can do whatever you want. But, as soon as you decide to coexist with one or more your fellow homo sapiens, all bets are off. You can no longer sit around in your underwear all day scratching and passing gas and not taking a bath. Because as we all know from Genesis, when God decided to give Adam someone to spend time with, He didn’t create a fishing buddy. And although she wasn’t probably what Adam would have asked for,(Aren’t you glad God didn’t ask him what kind of helpmate he wanted)she definitely came with certain benefits.

But along with those benefits came some issues, and those were there long before the first big apple bite. Adam really was from Mars, and Eve was from Venus. They had to take all their differences and learn to live together. Why? Because the benefits of living together were pretty awesome. And thus, social contract theory was born. Adam agreed to only have poker night once a week, and only smoke cigars outside while Eve agreed to not decorate the entire house in soft pink or make Adam watch Steel Magnolias.

What does all this have to do with what is happening today? To be continued

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Please Stand By

I did not take into account when I started this blog that my wife is leaving for China for two weeks and I have homework before she leaves, so I will be busy writing her letters to open while she is there. Be back when that is done.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Who I am

Greetings to all who have found their way to my little spot in the digital universe. Let me begin by fully acknowledging that aside from my wife who loves me and will read this just because of that, I am under no illusion that this might very easily be an elaborate form of playing Solitaire. Be that as it may, If by chance you do find my posts to be remotely entertaining or enlightening, (I dont think I can be Glenn Beck and do both at the same time) then I feel responsible to tell you a few things about myself and where I come from. This will be probably the hardest post as it will be hard to decide what to put in and leave out. Hopefully, future posts will be cleaner and to the point, but who knows, I do tend to ramble. Just ask Kate.

So about me. I am a 44 year old, divorced and remarried father of three teen-age sons. I am a cradle Southern Baptist who also wen to a private christian school most of my secondary years. Most importantly, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. I believe Him to be God Incarnate and that he chose to come to earth and become a man so that he could do something for me that I couldn't, pay for my sins. Although I often fail miserably to live up to his calling, my mission is to live a life that points others to His glory ( that would be religious speak for 'Awesomeness').

Although a life-long member of Southern Baptist churches, I am married to an equally commited servant of Christ who is a life-long member of the Catholic Church. This has created very few and very minor conflicts because we recognize we agree on 90-95% percent of doctrinal issues and have followe one motto, "You, Me, and God) in every part of our marriage.

My profession is education. I have been a secondary teacher and administrator for 17 years. I chose this profession because I enjoy it, and I am good at. There is a saying that goes,"Those who can, do; those who can't, teach" My experience has been that those who "can't" usually "can't teach" either. I tried leaving teaching for a short period of time and was miserable. I came to the conclusion that I would rather be happy and poor and went to teaching. Since then I have learned the important financial lesson that being poor is about how much you spend more than it is about how much you earn.

My hobbies include reading, home remodeling and repair projects, and playing poker when there is a little extra time or money. Whether this blog evolves into a legitimate hobby is yet to be seen. I've tried it before with little consistency, but I really want an outlet to put my thoughts down in print and so am trying again.

My father is a man who taught me the value of hard work and the importance of common sense, two traits I see less and less of in our world today. He was also a man who believed in fixing things himself or learn to fix himself. I have tried to learn as much as I can from him and still fill woefully inadequate to pass his many skills down to my own children.

I have been fortunate to have many positive influences in my life. My best friend growing up was the iron that sharpened my own. I had a pastor who taught biblical truth in simple common terms and was one of the greatest storytellers I ever heard. My Sunday School teacher from my secondary years to post-college is a soft-spoken man who though 10 years my senior, now looks younger than me. His depths of wisdom and again, practical common sense, have had a tremendous impact on who I am today.

My three teen-age sons are my greatest joy and my deepest concern. Not concern because they are kids doing awful bad things, but because of the reponsibility I constantly shoulder in hoping that I am being the best father I can to guide them into becoming responsible, young, Christian men. The time of my being in charge is almost done and soon it will be my prayers that will best help and guide them.

My wife Kate is the light of my life. She is a marvel to watch and I am daily amazed at how blessed I am that God brought her into my life. She defines unconditional love and is passionate about her relationships with everyone that comes into her life. She is my best friend, my companion in intimacy, and my spiritual help-mate. We laugh, cry, fight, hug, sing, mourn, rejoice harder with each other than with anyone else.

Finally, a word about this blog. I have gone back and forth when it comes to reading blogs and for that matter posting or creating my own. The bottome line is this. Anyone writing on the internet for all the world to see has some level of ego he or she is trying to stroke. We write because we want people to read and comment on our thoughts. If we didnt, we could just go to Barnes and Noble and buy a diary or journal. Saying that, what has typically driven me from spending time reading peoples thoughts on the internet is the sheer massive size of their egos and opinions. Everyone becomes Homer Simpson when they start pontificating online and the little voice that says "Don't say that outloud" is magically bound and gagged. My goal here is not to provoke, although I have no doubts inevitably I will. I don't mind discussion or disagreement, but I am not looking for a war of words. I invite anyone to post their thoughts on my comments, but I will only engage in debate through private e-mail. So if you hope for a more spirited discussion on a topic, please include your e-mail address. I love debate as long as we can agree that we will share a virtual beer afterwards( or a real one if I know you and you live close).

Well, thats a start. My next few posts will focus on my core beliefs in regards to the topics that title my blog. Hope you come back and enjoy.